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Not
an easy road to Masvingo
Miles, Gays and Lesbians of Zimbabwe (GALZ)
Extracted from Whazzup!, March 2008
For some it
might be an easy road, but many will give testimonies of how the
road to Masvingo can be a nightmare. Fears of the heavy trucks and
the high record of horrific accidents doesn't make it any
better.
This journey
is significant of the long and thorny road that most gay and lesbian
people who reside in Masvingo travel everyday of their lives.
In his testimony
as a gay man living in Masvigo, Collen Gweru gives a narration of
how his life has been and how due to family pressure he was forced
to marry and how his wife later found out about his sexuality and
the period after that.
"It's
not an easy road to self discovery and accepting one's sexuality
especially when you reside in this part of the country, were people
can be so conservative. I first discovered that I had emotional
feelings for other boys when I was in form one. It was difficult
for me to disclose to anyone because I didn't know how people
would react.
However at this
moment I was already involved with another boy and the relationship
was a secret though it lasted until I had finished my Ordinary Level
exams.
It is during
this period that my family became suspicious because they had never
seen me with any woman or heard me talk about women. I only had
one male friend who was very close and always there for me. Most
of the people I grew up with were getting married and now there
were family fears that I had an evil spell cast on me. Some family
elders pressurised me into getting married and told me that my mother
needed someone to assist her with the house chores. I even insisted
that I would help her myself, but they couldn't take that.
Eventually I
got married in 2000. The truth is I did it for my mother so she
would be proud of me as her last-born son.
In my marriage
I was blessed with two children, but still I felt there was something
missing in my relationship. I had a male partner and mixing the
two was just difficult, I wasn't living my life, or at least
one that made me happy.
I couldn't
tell my wife that I wanted men and not women. I was depressed most
of the time, the fear of hurting my wife's feelings and letting
down my family gripped me.
It was not until
one day, that my wife caught me red- handed being intimate with
my male partner. She was devastated, but she couldn't tell
anyone. She caught me two more times at it again. This time she
decided to take action, she threatened to report me to the police
and that she was going to file for divorce.
At that time
I couldn't care less, so I told her the truth, why I married
her and that I was in love with another man. Afterwards she actually
showed remorse because my revelation had touched her.
We however came
to a compromise, she said she would stay for the kids' sake,
but asked me not to come home with my partner or 'come out'
about my sexuality to other people.
If it doesn't
rain, it pours, in 2007, I was a blackmail victim. Someone I knew
had discovered that I was gay and wanted to make money out of my
secret. It took long to have the matter resolved with the blackmailer.
Once again, I was between a rock and a hard place and didn't
know whether to report him to the police or pay him. Such is the
predicament of most gay men who live secret lives.
It takes a
lot of courage for someone to stomach the homophobic attitudes of
people here, its not easy. I have taken it upon myself to assist
others like me. At the moment I am the Coordinator of the Masvingo
Affinity Group, and we are still trying to come up with a homogenous
group. The problem we face is that most members are subjected to
all sorts of harassment, whilst others are not in good health and
need medical assistance and counselling.
We appeal to
those responsible to ensure that we have a day organised for us
to come to Harare and chat and mix with other people from different
areas, sharing experiences at the same time.
I believe that
although we might come from different backgrounds, our cause is
the same; we need to unite and never tire in our struggle for recognition
and respect as people of a different sexual orientation. Nyaya
yacho ihombe inotoda munyengetero (this is a crucial issue
which needs divine intervention).
Visit the GALZ
fact
sheet
Please credit www.kubatana.net if you make use of material from this website.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License unless stated otherwise.
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