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Zimbabwe's Elections 2013 - Index of Articles
PF shocks us with Tutankhamun electoral candidates
July 01, 2013
Egyptian pyramids are home to three-thousand year-old tombs built
by and for the ancient Pharaohs. A unique combination of science,
advanced technology, archeological skills and sheer human grit has
propelled some tenants of these tombs to global stardom. Of note
is the tomb of Tutankhamun located in the Valley of the Kings near
Luxor in the North African country. All history students know how
the iconic Tutankhamun gold funeral mask was carefully excavated,
dusted and restored only to be one of the great attractions in Egypt’s
museum of antiquities.
Back home, for
the first time in a decade, Robert Mugabe’s ‘historical’
Zanu-PF is about to give Zimbabwean voters a Tutankhamun experience
- the extraction, dusting, preservation and public display of archaic
Zanu-PF electoral candidates. One learned professor, during his
prime years of political astuteness - referred to these men and
women as dead wood! If this was funny, we could be in line for a
‘Zimbollyhood’ blockbuster aptly titled ‘Zimbabwe’s
2013 elections – Revenge of Jurassic Geriatric Hegemony’.
Zanu-PF is about to turn
our elections into the Cradle of Humankind, complete with Australopithecus
Africanus candidates. Honestly how bankrupt of talent and innovation
can a political party be! It is not a surprise, though. Talk is
prevalent on how Mugabe’s Zanu-PF party has been ‘torn’
into two distinct factions: one progressive one clamouring for leadership
renewal, another ‘chaos’ entity that is on a trajectory
of suicide. It is this latter entity bent on unleashing Zimbabwe’s
own version of Howard Carter’s historical discovery. In a
desperate attempt to salvage lost glory, Zanu-PF has gone to the
political archives to extract, dust, preserve and display electoral
candidates whose contribution to Zimbabwe’s ‘civilisation’
can only be scientifically determined by carbon dating!
Perhaps there is light
at the end of this pyramidal tunnel: quenching Zimbabwe’s
desperation for tourism. In the unlikely event that Zanu-PF wins
in a free and fair election, Mugabe’s Tutankhamenic cabinet
will result in a ‘major upsurge of tourist arrivals’.
Wouldn’t you like to see three thousand year-old Tutankhamuns
driving around in 2013 models of Mercedes Benz? I would!
My fear is that in the
unlikely event that Mugabe’s Tutankhamunic candidates win
the election, they may not only be ‘Raiders of the Last Cabinet’,
but our country is likely to experience irreversible "curse
of the mummy". One now understands better why Zanu-PF is always
talking about a forty-year old bush war. It’s the "curse
of the mummy"! To them, governance that prioritises economic
development, quality education for children, disease and poverty
eradication, employment creation, free and fair elections.
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