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The art of self-immolation - ZANU-PF style
Rejoice Ngwenya
March 15, 2012

In skydiving circles, it is accepted - scientifically proven for that matter - a 'bullet-shape free fall- not secured with a chute may attract terminal velocity of around ninety metres per second. Where diver ejects from high altitude the gravitational effect has more telling implications - a life-sapping, bone-shattering collision with the ground!

President Robert Mugabe and his ZANU-PF, for three decades, have been perched precariously at the summit of an unstable political scaffold. The unrelenting winds of democracy are about to push them over the edge, placing them at the mercy of ferocious gravitational forces. In their tragic dogmatic denial, they remain defiant of overtures for a more sustainable soft landing. This means in 2013, the so-called revolutionary party will hit the ground with so much force as to cause unprecedented institutional disintegration!

The Global Political Agreement [GPA] was that parachute providing buoyancy for ZANU-PF to have a graceful, harmlessly welcoming drop zone. Between then and now, instead of helping fulfill the SADC-prescribed grounds for democratisation, President Mugabe and his cronies are tightening the straps and waiting for a high profile political fate.

Perhaps, like U.S. Air Force Captain Joe Kittinger who in 1960 achieved the highest and longest parachute jump in history from an altitude of 31 km at a terminal velocity of 988 km/h - ZANU-PF may live to tell the story. They see themselves as 'martyrs of the soil-, an apocalyptic interpretation of Aristotle's statement that "Things fall because they are trying to reach their natural place in contact with the earth." From dust to dust, indeed!

Of greater significance in this self-destruct prognosis is that heavier objects have higher acceleration than lighter ones. And so the ZANU-PF 'heavy weight- career ministers I wrote about last week are more susceptible to high velocity ground impact than lightweight rural mujibhas and chimbwidos! Moreover in rocket science, orbital decay causes rogue satellites to fall back to earth as "space junk" - a hazard to global aviation! Note: in 2008, a disabled US spy satellite was successfully intercepted and destroyed at an altitude of 246km by a missile fired from the U.S. Navy cruiser Lake Erie off the coast of Hawaii. I remain optimistic that come 2013, we Zimbabwean voters will met similar drastic electoral 'punishment- to bring down this archaic ZANU-PF obelisk floating aimlessly in political orbit!

Even if this post-June 2008 violence party is spared by voters, they will still be at the mercy of natural phenomena: meteor-like asteroids tearing off distant planets, plunging towards earth and disintegrating as they enter the stratosphere! My point is that either by act of commission or omission; design or coincidence - this party is on a trajectory of self-immolation of unprecedented proportions. If ZANU-PF was serious of re-election in 2013, would they be pretending Gukurahundi never happened? In addition to the onslaught against humanitarian agencies, Mr. Mugabe-s cronies want to cause widespread unemployment by threatening to expropriate mines. Meanwhile partisan chiefs clamour for guns to shoot non-compliant villagers! ZANU-PF-s dogmatic arrogance of refusing to liberalise the airwaves, shameless support of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad-s murderous orgy, refusal to update the voters roll and dressing down SADC mediators - is not exactly the best way of safe high altitude political sky-diving!

Considering that this kleptocracy is fortified with military entities, the former ruling party may be skilled enough to maneuver the harshest of all skydiving conditions, including night landing. However, considering their reliance on outdated political instrumentation- for example, beating up prospective voters - night diving will only lend them on a jagged rocky outcrop.

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