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I-m docile, like you
Rejoice Ngwenya
January 26, 2012

While in Botswana last Christmas, I meticulously explained to my cynical uncle why we Zimbabweans, for thirty-two years, have tolerated President Robert Mugabe-s unrelenting dictatorship. I noted if Mahatma Gandhi was a proponent of passive resistance, then Zimbabweans take the honours in 'passive resilience-! We carry this strain of lethargic, unquestioning docility - a compelling attachment to mediocrity. Consider the retinue of pathetic service delivery at all levels - supermarkets skimming us of change, traffic police molesting us for the flimsiest of all reasons at numerous roadblocks, municipalities that 'treat- us to sewage bursts and dry taps. We are tossed like ping-pong balls at passport offices, detained for hours on end at fidgety Beitbridge Border Post while ZESA - the public electricity authority utility - switches of power at will. Like the biblical lamb at the proverbial altar of sacrifice, Zimbabweans are tender, forgiving, silent, apologetic, subservient and submissive. We are the epitome, a caricature of the 'Jesus Man- who willingly gives the other cheek. Hey, Mr. Mugabe can snooze all he wants. No midnight shadows will show up under his door!

Now that information is a 'human right-, I have long mourned of poor internet and telephonic connectivity from local ISPs ECONET, Telecel and NetOne. Scream all you want, Rejoice; they wouldn-t be bothered, really. Imagine a five-star hotel in New York with a dysfunctional Wi-Fi service? It would be virtually closed! What we lack, as Zimbabweans is an aggressive service boycott culture. We could connive and ignore these pretenders to the technological throne for only 24 hours, but just like the rest of you, thirty years of oppression have conditioned me to be pathetically lethargic. Bad service is now such a . . . privilege that we even look forward to!

Every modern-day professional worth their salt must dread living, even for an hour, in a place devoid of connectivity. We surely deserve better. Elsewhere in 'civilised- Africa, technology has moved on. It only seems like yesterday that lawyers, judges and PR practitioners were proud owners of Olivetti typewriters and telex machines! Psychedelic coloured receivers on oak 'telephone tables- and sleek black 'VHS- video players adorning 'room dividers- were the epitome of finesse! Today, I feel Zimbabwe-s internet and telephony is a relic of those 'swinging- 1980s. While the rest of 'civilised- Africa has leapt ahead, our local version of the Three Musketeers - ECONET, Telecel and NetOne - all shiny masts and no bandwidth - propagate a plethora of empty promises.

For example, I received an SMS reminder from NetOne, that 'your account is less than US$0.06- yet a mere thirty minutes earlier at 8:00am, I had 'hashed- several units of USD$5 'airtime-, immediately getting an acknowledgement of USD$4.89 credit. For two days, the other ISP provider ECONET laboured to get my SMS platform functional. I am currently doing some work from a tenth floor hotel room in the centre of Harare, but cannot sustain a decent minute-long cell phone conversation without feeling like am calling from Saint John-s windswept biblical Patmos Island! Hounded by technological misfortune, my 'new- ECOWEB-supplied hotel Wi-Fi network struggles to respond despite numerous attempts at passwords.

South Africans and Nigerians would not tolerate this sort of inept arrogance from service providers. No doubt ECONET, Telecel, NetOne and supermarket chain executives - in the insulated comfort of their ivory towers - have convinced themselves that no single customer will rock their 'Titanics-. Perhaps they are right. After all, I may groan and mourn but am lethargically docile, just like you.

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