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Breaking codes in Nairobi
Capulet Chakupeta
February 02, 2010

An over ambitious editor of one Kenyan publication invited me over to monitor whether I am employable or not in this East African hub of activity. It-s kind of a provisional internship, a "come and see" project to be followed by signing of a job contract if both parties are happy with each other. In the proposed contract, there is a clause stating that either part is not bound, at least in the first three months. I can be sent away packing with no liabilities on the part of the employer. Similarly, I can proudly walk away with no hesitation of breaking any codes.

My first week in Nairobi is impregnated with the flouting of codes. I used to think it-s only Harare where traffic rules are flouted, but Nairobi has proved Harare drivers to be saints on the road. Harare has its own share of disorder. Faint road markings, nonexistent road signs and non working lights make Harare driving rough. Even though Nairobi roads are noisy and jammed, the non working traffic lights in Harare are a menace to any drives. Let-s begin with codes on the road then later to poor construction standards.

Nairobi traffic industry lives on two codes: "we are carrying esteemed passengers who need to get home or work fast - pave way" and "don-t dare, I also got right of way". The first code is famous with the bad boys in town, the matatu (mini-bus) drivers. Most matatu drivers believe that the best way to get to any destination is - very fast. For those interested in riding in these matatus, be sure that your last meal has been well digested and that your estate [will] back home is in order. The second code is anyone else driving, cycling or pushing a cart on the road.

In Nairobi, what one needs terribly are efficient brakes. Matatu drivers believe they are the only ones with the right of way. They depend heavily on the goodness of other motorists, thus they drive recklessly. Traffic jams during peak hours worsen the plight of drivers. In spite of this, motorists feel they have the right to drive fast and apply emergency brakes when the need be. Such is irritating when you are being driven because you always carry your heart in your mouth.

For matatus, they rejoice in having irritatingly loud hooters. They honk willy-nilly. The code on the road for the matatus is to honk indiscriminately to alert potential passengers by the road side or to signal the danger they pose to other road users. They hoot upon taking off, hoot to overtake, hoot to turn right and hoot to cross an intersection. Hooting is such a reflex action here that some drivers do it for no reason at all.

Intersections are always congested that the one with the right of way might find himself blocked by another vehicle that just enters with no consideration of road rules. Apparently, if one intends to observe road rules, driving in Nairobi would be impossible. Traffic jams coupled with negligent driving on bad roads becomes extremely infuriating. Vehicles crawl at very slow pace, save for the matatus that use the left shoulder despising the right of pedestrians who often scamper on the grass for dear life. The Highway Code states that overtaking is on the right, but matatus overtake on the left shoulder of the road.

Traffic-light controlled intersections are a circus of pandemonium for most drivers. One never knows when its right to obey the green traffic light or disobey the red light. One just has to follow what the other drivers are doing. This comes at a price; you either risk being pulled off road by an equally corrupt traffic officer demanding a bribe or bang another vehicle. I have not conceived as yet the rule to follow at a roundabout. I guess it-s that you block the traffic already circling, as recklessly as you can and they slam their brakes.

On one unofficial ride coming from Go-Down Theatre the other evening, the taxi driver was honking and braking annoyingly that I asked him to desist from this habit. He looked at me as if I had just cursed his mother. I was coming from a cook up meal, chapatti, ugali, githeri, nyama-choma and sukuma wiki. His repeated honking and braking was disturbing the already not so amusing digestion process in my stomach.

I ended up visiting the hospital that same night, reason being the stomach was giving unfamiliar ringing tones. When I walked into the public hospital, a man on a bed glanced at me with horror in his eyes as if I had come to take a lung out of his chest. He was the same cab driver who gave me a ride that very evening. He had a bandage covering half his face and a sling on his left arm. I guessed he had a fender-bender with another car.

The hospital was crammed with victims of a building that had collapsed the previous night. It is like they have earthquake here all time around. Late last year and early this year, two six-storey buildings under construction collapsed, killing over 20 people and injuring many others. Property and vehicles were either destroyed or damaged heavily when walls tumbled after heavy rains this January. This translates into millions of Kenya shillings in damages and loss. We aren-t talking of buildings in slums like Kibera or Mathare but up market structures in high income suburbs.

A recent report stated that over 65% of the buildings in Nairobi are death traps. With the earthquake that devastated Haiti on the 12th of January, I fear for my life in most of the buildings around. If the earth were to quake in Kenya, [not that I wish for that] the similarly shoddily built apartments would cause much loss to life and damage to property. One might need a helmet in one-s hotel room in case the building collapses! When in Nairobi, Peep Less and Speak Less.

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