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Peep less and speak less - even in court
Clyde B. Chakupeta
December 04, 2009

At the vegetable stand in Shoprite-s supermarket, this woman came up to me and urged me to cut my beard. And she was smiling so broadly that she aroused my curiosity because it was only the week before I visited the local barber to enquire on the cost of a mild trim. Then she continued, "And when you are done cutting it, save the beard and present to party superman, the moment he leaves public office, as a gesture of his good work and long years of service". My long beard for long service to the Ancient Dinosaur.

I found her wisecrack shockingly deceptive and egregiously rude. I have held firmly over the years to the singular view that what is mine is mine, and mine alone to determine how it should be disposed of lawfully. She explained that her view emanates from a leadership that has contemptuously tossed aside the role of common sense, decency and integrity in the exercise of power.

I apologize that in my good judgment, I would never do that; such a disgraceful act to our esteemed leader would not impact positively on my image. Our beloved leaders might confuse this grand strategy with a curse. Apparently I would only do that at the risk of having my head separated from the torso, by the Movement for Dictatorial Continuity PF [MDC-PF] militias.

I remember well that some people were threatened for simply praising the recent Budget announcement by the Honorable Finance Minister, Tendai Biti. Highly placed sources indicated to me that, when this office orderly made allusion to the fact that he appreciated that the economy is projected to grow by 7%, he was immediately asked what he is comparing that to. It was then that he realized that the fellow in dark glasses on the same bus with him was not an ordinary traveler. If I was there, I would have unashamedly schooled all sane and sundry that the very conception of an economy growing upwards was last heard of in Zimbabwe in the last millennium. This new millennium has never allowed us that relief. This is a fact and no men in any dark glasses need to question if there is any comparison being made. Fact remains the same.

Some highly notable people have taken to pains to critique Mugabe and his party, and finally chickened out of the race in fear of being clobbered by bolts of lightning, this being the rainy season. Reviewers of economics better be warned then that to make any comment is tantamount to criticize the last ten yearly budgets we have had. There are years when we had more than one budgets being presented. Those who appreciate the recent budget, risk being threatened with plagues of boils and pestilence.

If I had attended the budget presentation at parliament, or if ever I am to command head-on with the Ancient Dinosaur, I would exercise my democratic right and refuse to shake his hand. I would do so with no mean thoughts. It is my right to determine who I offer courtesy and respect to. I am not asking anyone in this world to give me courtesy and respect. I assert my right to make my choices as to who I see as positive human beings making a contribution to the freedoms of the world. The Ancient Dinosaur has denied our economy since the turn of this century any growth. Why would I be courteous as to honour him with a hand shake? Ten years with no substantial growth! Apparently, ours was an economy growing downwards, courtesy of MDC-PF. If the Ancient Dinosaur chooses not to shake my hand, albeit at his own shame, he would be exercising his political choice.

I dream of the day coming soon when Jona-than would present Mugabe-s name to the Nobel Prize Committee for next year-s take. The committee-s task would be to choose the best person representing humanity, and Mugabe is not this person. If it was the worst person representing humanity, he would stand head over shoulders among leaders like Chavez of Venezuela, the deposed Mengisithu Haile Mirriam, the late Idi Amin and possibly the rebel Koni in Uganda. Mugabe might be the unrivaled winner of such a nomination.

Crazy things happen in this country and the population just accepts it. Cruel violations take place in this land and people just shrug their shoulders and go about their business. The trial of Bennet, where the star witness was tortured to make a statement is the climax of judicial pervasiveness in Zimbabwe. Mokoko might be called in as a state witness, for she had the same 'charges- as Bennet. The greatest crime against this country is belonging to any other party apart that of the war mongers. In this country we can-t afford the luxury of theatre or cinema. The only entertainment we have is the judiciary. State prosecutors have to be as bizarre and preposterous as possible in order to entertain the public. Now I get why the woman at the vegetables stall wants me to shave and present my beard to the Ancient Dinosaur, on condition that, I Peep Less and Speak Less.

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