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Pubic hair politics vis-a- vis vagina activism should not be a national event
Viomak
August 12, 2009

I am finding it hard to believe that a group of sound minded women agreed to come up with a solution of sex starvation in order to resolve political issues. Stop this irresponsible activism, go back to your bedrooms and start behaving like real African queens. I thought the First lady Lucy Kibaki, was going to go against this move, but was surprised to see her embrace and endorse the ineffective and shortsighted embargo. Dear First Lady, when did vaginas start solving political problems? So are you starving the President now? Now stop being a hypocrite and just tell your husband to stop rigging elections and hand over power to Odinga in peace. So are you telling me that if you sexually starve your husband he will do the right thing? I know you are not sexually starving your husband Madam. Only fools will believe you.

Over to you Second lady Ida Odinga. When I look at your husband-s face I don-t think he can manage to go for even 3 days without sex. What more the 7 days ban that you have endorsed? Now if the truth be told, are you sexually starving the Prime Minister? Am I wrong to say that only your word of mouth joined in the strike, whilst you are busy behind closed doors combing your pubic hair preparing for the Prime Minister-s return from work? Next time don-t promise women activists heaven on earth, or else they will start boasting that they are winning their battle whilst they are losing. Just tell them that their embargo is as difficult as dealing with Somali pirates so you are not interested. Remember if President Kibaki hallucinates and decides to hand over power to PM Odinga you are going to be the First lady. I-m sure Grace Mugabe is not your role model.

That said, I am beginning to get convinced that the world needs real women activists and not opportunists who end up tattooing the word activism on their vaginas and buttocks and use it to justify their incompetent behavior, thus creating a dysfunctional and immoral society. Abuse of activism will only put your efforts to waste. You don-t have to end up being empty vessels in your activism. I am beginning to understand why it is vital that activists have access to accurate information about the consequences of their actions and activities. You don-t have to be directionless, loose morons in your quest for political change or else the world will scorn you for engaging irresponsible ways to achieve your goals. You know the results when it comes to donor funds.

You don-t have to look up to the vagina to change the political situation in you country. Brains and not vaginas are very effective in political change. Such kind of vaginal abuse should not be tolerated. You need to understand that whilst in many instances you are the main sufferers of political upheavals you still have your marriages and relationships to respect and maintain. Vagina power is a primitive move that should not be allowed to prosper in a nation as it also finds you the women being abused by some red eyed men. When women activists start behaving as if they are suffering from brain vaginosis things fall apart. Stop advocating for what will take away your respect and the woman in you.

Always bear in mind this question. What is going to change? Now if I may ask you. What has the vagina got to do with the dubious GNU that Kibaki and Odinga agreed to? How are you hoping to achieve your objective? It worries me when women abuse the vagina at every moment of desperation? You vagina is precious, and it deserves all the respect that-s why it is neatly packed where it is, so please don-t take it for granted. Now if you are really serious about this failed GNU starve your stomachs and see if Kibaki changes. Abusing the vagina for political change is the last thing I would expect from women activists. Such types of vaginated brains should not be allowed to flourish if a country is to develop socially and politically. You are not solving anything, but you are just creating unnecessary conflicts between your sheets. This is complete shallow mindedness and irresponsible behavior which continues to see women remain as sex objects. Where is your brain power? Activism should not be about being foolish. Always calculate the practical consequences of your actions before you get going or else your activism will become as useless as a sealed vagina .Now be strong African women. Refuse to be weak minded. Tackle the problems with your brains.

One more time women activists. Vagina power is a useless tool for political change. Sex starvation is passive activism that should be done away with. It won-t change anything politically. The only change which is negative will happen in your relationship. You don-t change the political situation in your country by denying your partner sex.The only thing you can change by denying your partner sex is your personal circumstance. Real change at national level happens through progressive activism and not through misguided passive activism which is influenced by neglect of your pubic hair and vagina abuse. Passive activism is as good as doing nothing. You don-t need to stoop so low. So rise up now with your brains on top and do the proper thing. Choosing to unofficially retire your vagina from 'duty- when your brains stop working should be a criminal offence? Is that what you want to hear? I-m sure you wouldn-t want to be charged with sexual disobedience or else the small house will come and take over whilst you feed on pig fat in jail. Now you want the GNU sex starved leaders to approve a law that makes contempt of the bedroom a criminal offence .Is that what you are after? Open your brains and re-write your objectives.

Patricia Nyaundi, you are the executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), and part of this destructive embargo. What happened to conjugal rights in Kenya? If sex starvation is what you call activism, then I-m strongly opposed to it .Am I seeing here a cartoon packed movie of self-described 'women activists- who are struggling to give activism a bad name. What do you hope to achieve from this sex starvation? I ask again. So you think Kibaki and Odinga will stop their political mischief and tell their penises to lie down because you sexually starved your partner? Now my African queen stop using your vagina to think. Just like the penis, the vagina has no brain. Something has really gone bad here. Are you trying to strangle your vagina using your pubic hair? Is that possible? I don-t think so. So what are you up to Patricia? Don-t you have enough snake charmers in Kenya? What about other circus stars?

Of course yes Patricia I agree, "Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: 'Darling can you do something for Kenya?'"

However, those great decisions are successfully made when your vagina is not on strike. That said my African queen, get back to work now, lie down and have that magical pillow talk with your partner in a positive way. Get the daily dose and discuss how best you can get Kibaki and Odinga to get going for the sake of progress .Of course remember to keep your pubic hair and your vagina out of national politics.

The ticket-free circus doesn-t end with you Patricia. The Women's Development Organization coalition including Caucus for Women's Leadership and Maendeleo ya Wanawake and all those concerned even agreed to be paymasters for prostitutes. Do you understand the implications? Do you even realize that these prostitutes are your mothers, daughters and sisters? So what are you teaching them? So by paying the so called prostitutes are you acknowledging that prostitution is a trade that should be endorsed? In African culture women activists should be the last people to be seen encouraging prostitution. Something is not right here. Today you pay a prostitute and acknowledge that their services should be respected and paid for, and tomorrow you bitterly complain and cry saying your pubic hair is failing to grow because your husband infected your vagina with a disease that he got from the same prostitute you are paying some shillings today. Now wake up African queens and don-t tell me that the answer to 2-3 is IT CAN-T. Why not donate that money to an orphanage and improve the lives of your innocent angels before Madonna comes in to snatch your little angels from you? So you don-t want to learn from James Kambewa, Mercy-s father?

There are also many books gathering dust out there, with workable ideas on how to confront challenges. Many of them are not as big as Haralambos, so why not browse through the books once in a while? Yes there is need for activists to possess the skills to integrate many issues, and understand how to resolve the challenges facing their countries and the world, and how to address the issues in acceptable ways, if they don-t have the natural know. Well-trained activists are valuable yes. I understand that activism takes a variety of forms including boycott but there are limits to how far the boycotting can go. Remember your aim is to change the politics of Kenya and not the politics of your bedrooms.

Please spare your vagina from further ridicule for it has nothing to do with this political impasse in Kenya. Dorothy Parker knows that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon. You don-t have to tarnish or destroy your relationship for political change. There is great need to stop and think before acting. Set your goals right and see if they can be achieved, and please do not include the vagina in your options. Look for the most effective strategies or tactics to effect political change with an open mind.

Stop abusing the vagina. You don-t want to end up poisoning society like other misguided feminists who know the meaning of male and female but doesn-t understand the difference between husband and wife, thereby distorting the meaning of equal rights. As activists you should not work to destroy societies but you should work to improve the lives of the people, communities and societies that make up our world. You are agents of good change and not destroyers of societal values that bind us. By advocating for sex starvation you are not helping your community in any good way. Now stop destroying relationships in the name of activism but address political issues destroying your country in a respectful and brainy fashion. You wouldn-t want to be a danger to the same society that you are fighting for.

Rise up women activists. Don-t be a disgrace. Take a bath, comb your pubic hair, retire from the buttock industry and start using your brains to initiate political change. Use your vaginas for pleasure and child bearing and not for political change. You only have yourselves to blame if you fail to smell the breast milk and realize that the vagina doesn-t have the ability to solve political issues but your brains have. Inferior brains look up to vaginas to solve their problems. Mind you activism should remain a mechanism that you use to initiate orderly and responsible ways of dealing with conflict .Now if you start being disorderly yourselves who is going to take you seriously? Don-t be the 'demonic- activists who pounce on available opportunities and end up using inappropriate pressures that are irrelevant to their cause. I-m sure you are not related by origin to the pressure cookers in your kitchens.

Now all you other non activist women do not allow your minds to be taken over by some of the good self -described activists who have very good intentions but fail to implement the best methods for good change to happen or else they will end up polluting your brains with good for nothing ideas. They might lay on your heads thorny crowns if you are not careful. The campaign should start from their brains and not from your bedrooms.

I hope this Kenyan pubic hair virus will not spread to Zimbabwe in the same way the undemocratic GNU spread.

You loving sister.

Viomak is a Zimbabwean protest singer, political activist and she can be contacted at viomak@viomakmusic.com

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