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Christmas request to Santa Mugabe
Clyde Chakupeta
December 18, 2007

Santa Mugabe, Makorokoto, Amphlope, Congratulations, they inform me you secured the candidacy, after intimidation and declaring the other time that there is no vacancy. My main concern, with all due respect, Santa Mugabe, is about the coming Christmas for our children. Yours are secure and comfortable, but I refer to the majority of children in the country, most of whom are orphaned. Truly, Christmas used to be a time for jubilation and merry making, but these past years you have made it one of empty stomachs and no merry making. Just 10 concerns.

Bread request. Could you make bread available this season? It is a rainy season that your government will make a lot of noise about a bumper harvest, promising us wheat, but first things first; bread is all we need this Christmas. We cannot afford rice anymore, thanks to your economic policies.

Fuel and Travel. Make fuel available, for the few of us who still have hopes of linking with folks in the rural areas and other towns. Consult Nomatter Tagarira, the spirit medium, who once upon a time mentioned she could conjure refined diesel out of a rock by striking it with her staff. This done, fuel in abundance, I hasten to mention the availability of spare parts for bus operators so that they ply our roads with safe buses, that helps in reducing the road carnage that we have been witnessing in festive seasons recently.

Availability of Money. I also ask request that you make money available in our banks, talk to Gideon Gono, he might print some more bearer's cheques, that won-t increase inflation, for it has already hit ceiling level. Remember Reserve bank governor Gideon Gono on Friday said your (you Robert Mugabe's) cronies were fuelling the country's runaway inflation through illicit dealings. It's not ordinary members of the public who are doing this. He talks of the problem of corruption, corruption, corruption, and that the country is losing a lot of money because of top officials, we talk of money urgently for Christmas.

Electricity. At least 2 000 households in Harare, Bulawayo and other towns have been plunged into darkness owing to vandalism and theft of Zesa Holdings property worth over billions. That was the news in January 2007 and the same remained throughout the year, do we expect the same during Christmas and the New Year Santa? I was thinking of electricity for those who would want to while up time with their CD players, just entertaining themselves and drifting attention from the now rather familiar music from empty stomachs. The shedding game this time should be played fairly, why not start with the grid that feeds the State House, so that the occupants experience a blackout Christmas.

Decent Meal. What of making flour available Santa Mugabe, we might need that to bake a few cakes, provided there is milk on the shop shelves, eggs too, maybe some margarine or butter, cooking oil, cheese as well. Soft drinks, even beer for those who would rather drown their worries, get them fast to soothe our passions and pains. We never mind this time where they come from, even if you can get them for us from as far as China or from Chavez in Venezuela.

Education. Schools will be opening soon, and as a concerned parent, please, check with Chigwedere on the standards that have declined of late, school performance has greatly depreciated, wonder how the few remaining patriotic teachers are doing. Even in higher education as manifested by the University of Zimbabwe on graduation day, I hope you had time to walk around freely without any fear of the hungry thugs that have been created by Gordon Brown and George Bush.

Health. You know because of January disease, many people might need medical facilities but the ones we have are so run down that even David Parirenyatwa is ashamed of them. He might resign for having a ministry with no functional health facilities and no doctors and nurses to serve the already dying population. He talks so much of letting them die in poverty, but you do not believe in euthanasia Santa, do you?

HIV/AIDS. Comrade Santa. You might not have noticed this, but we are going slowly. Women continue to bear the brunt of the HIV/Aids pandemic with limited knowledge on the disease and lack of access to treatment This is despite the fact that women constitute the majority of your supporters and are the most infected and affected, are denied comprehensive sex education, treatment, care and support. Be reminded of the elections next year, we need them to secure a comfortable presidency.

Brain drain. You always deny it, but check with Tobaiwa (not trust worthy for he keeps false records), but just try. How many professionals are hurriedly applying for passports, and also how many have left the country in the year 2007 that is just coming to an end. Comrade, you have been so stubborn but the writing is on the wall for all to see, no one wants to remain in the country in such an economic situation that beats all records. Worse, with the elections coming, with your esteemed ZANU PF green bombers and youths out there to torture and kill, I don-t think I would want to be one of the unfortunate ones to be around, come 2008.

Lastly, I wish you and the First Lady and the First Family and the First Thugs in your government a soul searching and season of repentance as we suffer in peril because from your ill timed policies. Once more, rule us either till you or we all drop dead. Happy festive season Santa. You are penciled for your annual leave come January, where are you heading to this time? Try the Caribbean Islands. Please do not over stay; we want you back before the elections.

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