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The President's missing clothes
Alex Magaisa
April 15, 2007

http://www.newzimbabwe.com/pages/magaisa47.16222.html

One of the great mistakes we make, especially when we sit in high positions, is to misread the way the rest of the people perceive us. In the intoxicating atmosphere of supposed glory, we often get to a point where the line between cheers and jeers becomes blurred and we cannot separate commendation from condemnation. On these occasions, we often consider manic reactions as support even if, in reality, we are the subjects of ridicule. It does not help when there are sycophants who simply hang around, giving an incorrect interpretation of people's thoughts and feelings.

It seems to me that President Mugabe's decision to stand for another term of office is not only astounding given the country's circumstances under his 27-year leadership, but could fall in this class of human misjudgements. When those women of Zanu PF's Women's League become hysterical in his presence, urging him to go on, are they really cheering him to glory? When the hangers-on advise him to go on, are they not really placing him on display, for all to watch and ridicule, while they get on with their nefarious activities?

Years ago, when I was in primary school, there was a hefty fellow called Office. I do not know why his parents gave him that odd name, suffice to say, that it takes pride of place in a rare breed of names that one is only likely to find in Zimbabwe. Names like, Never, Forget, Opportunity, Nobody, Eclipse, et al. Perhaps the name owed its origins to the circumstances of his conception. The older folks pronounced his name as Hofisi, while the rest generally adopted the phonetic, Ofisi.

Office was a big fellow whose exact age was generally the subject of a great deal of doubt and playground speculation. Some said his birth certificate had been altered and that he was, in fact, five years older. Others who claimed to know him well said he had a wife and children. Word had gone round too, that he had been a comrade (freedom fighter) during the liberation war, though, it must be said, the presence of former fighters at school in the early 1980s was not an unusual phenomenon.

Office was blessed with an athletic physique, which invariably gave him physical superiority over fellow competitors on the sporting field. He was a supreme athlete whose prowess was known across the region. He had a number of limitations in the classroom but he more than made up for it on the sporting field. He was a hero.

On one fine Saturday, an inter-schools athletics competition was held at the school grounds and as usual, Office was the centre of attention. Respected and feared by friends and foes alike, Office hogged the limelight. But not even Office could have prepared himself for the extra attention that he drew that day, during the 200m sprint event. What happened in that race has become the stuff of legend, re-told over the years with the customary additional spice.

You see, in those days, the popular attire for athletes was a vest and a type of shorts that was commonly referred to as adidas. I do not know if it has any relation to the popular Adidas brand, but I recall that those shorts were very small and were designed in a way that did not provide sufficient cover, and I do not think they were suitable for the big boys. The shorts were particularly susceptible to a wardrobe malfunction. This risk of a wardrobe malfunction was especially heightened if one did not wear an under-garment. In the poor communities, under-garments for boys were almost a luxury, even for big boys like Office.

Now, as Office worked the bend in the 200m race he was clearly in the lead and spectators were cheering him on. But the volume of cheers increased dramatically; in fact it became wild. "Ofisi! Ofisi! Ofisi!", the chants reverberated in the packed ground as the hero surged ahead. Clearly propelled by the noisy reception, Office upped the pace, waving his hands in the air ecstatically.

But poor Office did not realise that the heightened excitement owed not so much to his display of athletic talent on the track but to the fact that the adidas short had literally given way. Office had not noticed the wardrobe malfunction, which was the centre of the crowd's attention and the cause of wild excitement. He simply thought they were cheering him on for his efforts on the track. Instead, he was the laughing stock, but he went on, blissfully unaware of his circumstances.

Sometimes in life, like Office, we misinterpret the reaction of those around us and think that we are being praised and cheered on when, in fact, we are the subject of ridicule and fun. Sometimes it seems to me that the Zanu PF leadership, like Office, misread the reaction of the people. The wild excitement at gatherings may not necessarily be a show of support for the great things that they think they have done. Sometimes, they are the subject of laughter and ridicule.

The story of Office reminds me of Hans Christian Andersen's great tale entitled The Emperor's New Clothes.

Believing that he was wearing new clothes, the royal procession went on, the Emperor hogging the limelight, savouring the cheers and praise from crowds of supporters lining up the streets. All of them could see that the Emperor had no clothes; that he was naked but they also pretended to be of pure heart and spirit, they pretended to see and praise the Emperor's new clothes. So, in fact, the Emperor paraded himself naked to his people, all deluded that he was wearing new clothes, believing that only those of pure heart and spirit could see. This extraordinary spectacle would have gone on but for an innocent child who exclaimed, for all to hear, that the Emperor had no clothes!

The nomination of President Mugabe to stand for Zanu PF, in next year's Presidential election, sounds to me like a similar case of the ruler getting too enamoured with himself and the people around him joining in and pretending to see what in fact is not there. The officials who inspected the fellows weaving the magical cloth for the Emperor, reporting that they had seen the most beautiful cloth, could well be Mugabe's ministers and coterie of admirers who continue to tell him that he has been doing so great and that the problems of Zimbabwe are not of their own making but can be blamed solely on Western sanctions and drought. They can see the disaster but they pretend to see something else that they would like to believe.

The people who lined up the streets and cheered the Emperor in a state of nakedness, pretending to be smitten by his non-existent new clothes, could well be the Zanu PF Women's League, who sing, dance and ululate for Gushungo, urging him to go on, pretending to see all that is great and beautiful when in fact there is very little they see.

But there are also many children, who can see and point out that in fact, the President is being paraded without clothes. VaMugabe had better listen to the voices of those children, whose cry is only for his good and that of the country.

Alex Magaisa can be contacted at wamagaisa@yahoo.co.uk

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