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American men say they are tired(est)
Ken Mufuka
May 03, 2006

http://www.fingaz.co.zw/story.aspx?stid=1051

WHILE we are carrying on a hot debate about the Domestic Violence Bill proposed in Zimbabwe by those who hate our culture, a similar discussion is brewing here about a similar topic.

First, we refer to Sister Mushonga, writing in the Standard last week with this title: "Don't use culture to oppress women!"

She uses a sentence from my Letter from America without proper referencing or mentioning my name. The last sin is academic and we will be gentle with the sister. The first sin is unforgivable.

The idea that African culture is oppressive of African women is part of a Eurocentric missionary propaganda and illustrates the dangerous myths that these feminists are trying to push down our throats.

In her reference to my sentence suggesting that domestic violence is the result of loss of community relationships between the younger generation and their elders, she confessed "that whatever that means".

Lord, give me patience if the sister does not know such an important theory, if she doesn't understand when I explain to her that an antidote to domestic violence is the encouragement of piety.

The fear of loss of esteem by peers and community elders is the basis of piety. That is Greek to her. I give up.

I advised Sister Kahari, who mistakenly thought I was advocating violence, to check with her grandfather if violence was permitted in Bantu society. She sent me this story.

In her village, a very successful man, Ushe, who had been to Britain, was in the habit of beating up his wife. The woman escaped to her parents with their two children.

When Elder Ushe did not see his grandchildren, he went to find out from the Murukungayi the matter.

To cut a long story shot, Elder Ushe paid a cow as restitution for the shame caused on his tribe by the younger Ushe. He gave a promise that if Ushe ever touched that muroora of his again, he could as well give up the name Ushe. This Elder Ushe swore upon his father's grave.

The young man was so frightened that he became an exemplary mukuwasha. This is what we mean by piety. I was going to add the word stupid!

American black men have suffered grievous harm from a myriad of maladies, most of them emanating from slavery.

Today, most difficulties, as in Africa, come from the fact that the American black women (just like their sisters in Africa) have been more penetrated bodily and spiritually by Eurocentric maladies.

The film Color Purple, made by Ms Oprah, cannot find anything good about black men. In that film, five black women are thrown from pillar to post as they try to wrestle with unfaithful black men. In the end, they turn to religion for comfort.

Now the black men have made a reply. Tim Johnson has just made a film, Tired Black Men.

For lack of space, two conversations associated with this film and debate will suffice.

A successful brother worked hard, perhaps two or more jobs, to provide for his family.

The wife was a stay-at-home woman. But according to the story, each time the brother came home there was drama, drama, and more drama.

Because of her Eurocentric assumptions, no matter what the brother accomplished, he was not appreciated, because he was judged by a standard set by his white enemies.

Sister Mushonga, if we, for example, set our standard of beauty on white women, then my mother will never be beautiful. See?

The most surprising development, though, is that many successful black brothers are marrying white women. In the above case, the brother got a divorce and married a white woman.

Generally, because white women have to go through so much race hatred in order to marry blacks, if they survive that hurdle, their marriages are made in heaven.

They appreciate the long-suffering, hard-working black man and the home becomes a haven of peace and tranquility. "Drama, drama, and more drama," the brother complained.

The second story comes from a discussion group. A tired(est) brother took in a woman whose boyfriend was an abuser. The abuser left a six-month old child and was locked up somewhere in a jailhouse.

The brother made a home for them (Mary and the child).

Notice here that the order of the universe is reversed. The woman makes babies first, then she looks for somebody to care and love her and her child.

But here is the juicy part: the caring brother is very often excluded from love, as when the jailbird baby daddy comes home, full of words and passion. The sweet brother finds himself between an angry baby daddy and a woman he thought was his wife.

The baby daddy asks: "Whose nigger is this?" And when the man tries to explain, he finds no support from his woman, Erika, who uses an f . . . word to drive him from his home.

A parable is a story you already know, but told in a spiritual way.

I hope Sister Mushonga will appreciate the fact that we have by far a superior culture that man has ever devised, and we "don't need no white man to tell us nothing about no culture or no domestic violence" (black American English).

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