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Opinions, Comments and Submissions
May 07, 2002

Colour Blind
Doris Nyasha Kumbawa - Federation of African Media Women-Zimbabwe (FAMWZ)

From the Sixteenth Century when Romeo and Juliet fell in love in the safe haven of Shakespeare's mind, love has over the years been a tragedy for many like the two star-crossed lovers. Others have however seen it as a challenge that they have cowed to become their adoptive child.

Like the Danish Prince, inter-racial relationships have been a problem many soliloquise over, bringing sleepless nights and a brutish attack by society over its few virtues and many vices, despite obvious moves towards a global village which should help people come together and understand each other.

Changa Nyamapsapse and Eli Sednak (both 28) live with this dilemma every day of their lives. Changa, the black Zimbabwean musician, famous for his song "Memo", has been dating Eli, an Austrian lady for the past ten months. The two met at a wedding last year where they fell in love and knew they were meant for each other.

Eli confesses that "at first I did not think so much about the fact that he was black and I was white, because for me I do not see it as 'this one is black and this one is white' ".

Nevertheless she soon discovered that not everyone shared her opinion when her close friend asked her whether she was really in love with Changa or with the fact that he was black.

A lot of people still believe that inter-racial relationships are superficial as people enter them to gain something, and because of this, Changa had to break up with his former girlfriend who (featured on his hit song as "Memo"). "There was a lot of pressure coming from her family and her father did not approve of it. She was paying for most of the things and this is also what led to the separation".

Sometimes it is society that puts pressure on couples and thus they try to live up to its expectations. If they do not, then all manner of vitriol is unleashed on them. Changa's friends always ask him for money. "People put pressure on me. There are very few people I can talk to about something without them bringing the issue of money. Some of my friends say you are dating a white woman so why don't you help me do this"?

Changa has his own projects in music which are difficult and expensive, but some of his family members do not understand this. Because he is a musician dating a white woman, he has automatically become a human money-vending machine. "I end up not visiting a lot of relatives because I know that I'll end up having to leave something. If I have to say that I don't have money it's very difficult because these are very close people and they'll end up thinking of me as a proud person and saying 'look, he is now forgetting about us' ".

A problem experienced by foreign white women is that despite the advancements Zimbabwe has made in the world, their relatives at home do not know where it is and view it in its premordial state with people living in huts, hunting animals and gathering wild berries for food. "When she ("Memo") told her grandparents about us, they were crying a lot because they felt she was living in some hut... until she had to send them photos to show them that in Zimbabwe there were also the urban areas".

A lot of myths also surround relationships that are mixed as it is believed that black men being virile, are the doom of white men; hence white women would want to discover the potential of the black man. For black men white women would offer a worthwhile exploit in which they get financial benefits and quality sex in the bargain. Whenever two people of different races are seen together, these myths are conjured up in people's minds and become the basis of a verbal attack.

Luckily, as Eli explains, in Austria inter-racial relationships are not a problem as there are not that many black people. They also do not have a colonial legacy like that experienced by Zimbabweans. Because of this it is not so easy to date in Zimbabwe. She says that "the white people here are very rich and do not want to mix with other people and this makes it difficult to make friends". This attitude has seen some whites who date blacks being cut off by their fellow whites.

Another problem faced by couples in inter-racial relationships is they have been stigmatised and associated with HIV/Aids. According to Changa, when an emergency taxi passes by I get some comments like, "Ah you are going to die of HIV/Aids". This is because some people still believe that the white people bring HIV/Aids. For the musician this is a particular bone of contention as he states: "Zimbabwe is one of the countries worst hit by the disease because of prostitution which is obvious when I visit the nightclubs and because of the way some people are careless with their lives".

Cultural differences have been used as an excuse for these relationships to fail. Eli believes that it is not an issue of culture but the individual. It is as Changa affirms a matter of respecting each other. The cultural differences serve to spice up the relationship, "as my parents can look forward to having a half Austrian grandchild and Eli's parents can look forward to having a grandchild with roots in Murehwa."

Like any other couple these two hope to live together happily ever after. "I really hope my parents will accept him... because they are worried I will stay in Zimbabwe forever." Changa's family, who have met Eli like her a lot.

The couple is currently expecting a baby in the next few months. They are getting married in two weeks time and will go to Austria in August 2002.

Hopefully this couple and many others will survive and not be victims of a systematically imposed romantic death, typical of Shakespearean tragedy, in which all have to die for the re-birth of society.

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