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Lutanga Shaba, "I decided testing HIV positive would not be the end of my life"
PlusNews
February 18, 2009

http://www.plusnews.org/report.aspx?ReportID=82994

When Lutanga Shaba was 16, she was forced into transactional sex to support herself and her mother. Although she eventually managed to finish her law degree, with a postgraduate degree in policy studies, the survival strategy came at a price - she tested HIV positive in 2002, the same year her mother died of an AIDS-related illness.

"Growing up alone with my mother was a very difficult thing for me because I watched her struggle all the time to take care of me and put me through school.

"One day our poverty reached to the level where my mother couldn't even afford the school fees for me to complete my high school, and the next thing for me was to drop out. But I knew that our situation would be worse after this, allowing the cycle of poverty to continue.

"I knew that with an education, as bright as I was, I would one day be a 'somebody' and be able to take care of my mother. In the end I was coerced into sex with an older man who knew our situation and took advantage of it. He promised to take care of my mother and me, and to pay my school fees up to university.

"At first I refused, but then I was confronted with sad reality - we had nothing to eat and I had dropped out of school. The headmaster at the school was tired of our excuses and the situation was really dire. Without many choices I went into this relationship with this man and life went on as usual. There was no tomorrow to think about because all I wanted was to go back to school and end our poverty.

"I did manage to get back to school. I passed my Ordinary Level examinations and proceeded to Advanced Level, and then to law school. After this I did postgraduate policy studies and started my career as a lawyer.

"Everything appeared to be well on course. Finally, I was independent and working on my own, and could afford to look after my mother. I left my past behind and got married with high expectations of a good life, but all that was about to end.

"On 11 April, 2002 my mother died after being ill for some time; she died of an AIDS-related illness. I believe my mother wouldn't have died had we been in a different economic setup. Because ARVs were not readily available [at that time] in the public sector or in the country, I could not afford to import the drugs for my mother.

"Back then people used to talk about AIDS in hushed tones, so even getting the drugs from outside the country was a huge task. I felt helpless as I watched my mother die. I was seriously heartbroken.

"Before she died I discovered that the same man who had been responsible for my upkeep had at some point also had a relationship with my mother. I decided to get tested and my result was positive, and for a moment my life came crashing down.

"But after picking up the pieces I decided testing HIV positive would not be the end of my life. As a healing and therapeutic process I decided to write a novel, Secrets of a Woman's Soul, which is my life story.

"I have been living positively with HIV since 2002. I have a daughter, Tawonga, who is HIV negative despite my HIV positive status, and these are some of the miracles God has worked in my life.

"Today I am the executive director and founder of The Women's Trust in Zimbabwe, a Harare-based [in the capital] non-governmental organisation that provides personal empowerment and leadership development training for women.

"Being from a poor background, I understand how limited one can be in terms of choices when you are poor and I want to help other women come up in life without the consequences I have had to live with myself.

"Through the Mama Milazi [programme] - named after my grandmother, who, as far back as the 1960s refused to be in a polygamous relationship and walked out with her five children - I offer scholarships to academically gifted and ambitious young women who are unable to pay for higher education. I want to help young women and girls not to make the difficult choices that I have had to make."

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