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"He begged for forgiveness and I did just that"
PlusNews
December 01, 2008
http://www.plusnews.org/report.aspx?ReportID=81750
The story of Samuel and
Stella Malunga* is one of love and forgiveness in a time of HIV
and AIDS. They met and fell in love while studying law at a university
in neighboring South Africa. Samuel graduated two years before Stella
and returned to Zimbabwe but kept their relationship going until
she was able to join him in 2000.
They got married shortly
afterwards but before Stella could find work, they discovered she
was expecting twins. Samuel encouraged her to become a full-time
mother.
Everything was fine,
or so Stella thought, until Samuel suddenly fell ill in April 2008.
In a very short time, he went from being the family breadwinner
to being dependant on Stella to bathe, feed and dress him.
A doctor recommended
that the couple take an HIV test. Stella did not see the need but
agreed, if only to prove the doctor wrong. The results came as a
shock: Samuel was HIV positive but Stella was negative.
After receiving the news,
Samuel confessed to having another "wife" and child elsewhere,
and to having had numerous affairs. He begged Stella for forgiveness,
but after months of dealing with her husband's illness alone, Stella
was too shocked and angry to respond.
"I never suspected
he would cheat on me, and never saw any signs he was cheating,"
she told IRIN/PlusNews. "What made me angrier was that he had
cheated on me and not even used protection."
Stella decided to leave
their home in the leafy Harare suburb of Mount Pleasant with her
two sons, put Samuel in the care of a hospice, and start a new life
without him. But after a month away from her husband she still could
not find peace with herself.
"A part of me really
yearned to see him. I loved him even though he had hurt me, so I
made a decision to go and see him," Stella recalled. "I
could barely recognise him; he was wasted and very sick. The antiretroviral
therapy (ART) was not working very well on him.
"He cried when he
saw me and told me his life without me and the children was meaningless.
He begged for forgiveness and I did just that. I told the hospital
officials I was taking my husband home."
Samuel says he will never
forget the care and support his wife has given him. At a time when
his own relatives were too terrified to come near him, Stella would
take his head in her lap and stroke it until he fell asleep.
"Even when I was
at my lowest, she told me I would be fine. All I wanted was to get
well and make her happy. She had such hope for us starting afresh,"
he said.
Five months after being
reunited with his wife and leaving the hospice, Samuel is responding
well to treatment and his health has improved greatly. He believes
his HIV-positive status has brought them closer together.
"I know what I did
to my wife was very cruel and selfish, but the love she has shown
me is what has made me well again," he said. "Now all
I want to do is to protect her and make sure I don't infect her."
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