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Mothers' Day - remember the sacrifice
Southern Africa AIDS Information Dissemination Service (SAfAIDS)
May 10, 2007

One endearing Swahili proverb states, "There is no guardian like a mother." In its simplicity, it affirms the universal truth that the value families and communities place on women as the givers and nurturers of life is inestimable. This Sunday - Mother's Day - many will take the opportunity to express their gratitude and appreciation for the important role played in their lives by the women they call mothers.

But beyond the bouquets of flowers and pretty cards and gifts, will our messages reflect that while we appreciate their guidance and care, we are also taking on the responsibility of protecting the mother figures in our lives? Women and mothers are often held in high esteem as the backbone of societies; they rear and protect their children, instil values and share life-building advice and experiences; they fight against injustices and through their selfless perseverance, advocate for changes that build up homes and communities; and they take it upon themselves to counsel and advise. And in the context of HIV and AIDS, they often take up the mantle of providing care and support to those infected and affected within their communities.

But who takes care of these carers when they themselves become ill? Statistics show that in sub-Saharan Africa, 57% of all adults living with HIV are women, many of them mothers, the majority of whom live in resource limited settings where prevention and treatment interventions and messages are scarce. And if they succumb to AIDS or grave illness, the consequences for the welfare of children, families, communities and societies are dire. Who then provides the children with the much needed nurturing, compassion and unconditional love that only a mother can offer?

We must remember that as we advocate for greater access to prevention and treatment interventions - and provide these to women - we are literally helping to ensure the health and well-being of nations. A mother's role should never be underestimated for when we educate a woman, we educate a nation. When we educate a woman about HIV we are sure to be educating many more people, and preventing further infections.

It is paradoxical that while we value mothers for their life nurturing qualities, women are still so often undervalued by society. A complex of cultural, biological and socio-economic factors and inequalities has led to the heightened vulnerability of women to HIV. Forced or coerced sex and inability to negotiate for safer sexual practices all stem from the aforementioned disparities, which work together to further entrench the status of women, wives and mothers as second class citizens. These acts not only instill fear and subordinate women to men - they also provide fertile channels for the spread of HIV.

Gender-based violence affects as much as a third of the world's female population, with domestic violence still its most prevalent form. Domestic violence has led to the physical, psychological, emotional and verbal abuse of many women within the very homes that should provide them safety and protection from harm. Furthermore, violent actions towards pregnant women not only endanger the woman's health, but also that of her unborn child.

As we value our mothers and continue to advocate for women's rights and equality, are we remembering to teach our men to also value and respect the health and well-being of their wives, lovers and girlfriends? When we speak to our men about HIV prevention methods such as faithfulness and consistent condom use, are we speaking too about the responsibilities they hold in protecting the lives of the women they love? Are we reminding them of the threat posed to their family's future by that 'small house'? Are we doing enough to partner with men to help them realise that violence, both mental and physical, affects not only the woman involved, but that it has long-standing psychological implications on children and other family members?

No mother ever wishes to cause harm to her child, yet we learn everyday that through a lack of prevention-of-mother-to-child (PMTCT) measures, many children are being born already infected with HIV. Today, mother-to-child transmission represents the main mode of HIV acquisition in children. A multitude of pregnant women do not even have access to voluntary counselling and testing (VCT) sites to determine their HIV status, while others decline such services for themselves and their unborn child for fear of violence from their partners.

We must ensure that pregnant women can access VCT services in confidential surroundings to ensure not only their health, but also the health of their children. And while PMTCT is an important HIV prevention intervention for infants, we also need to advocate for treatment to be made available to the women whose children we are protecting as it does not make sense for us to save a child from HIV infection only to allow them to be orphaned because we cannot provide treatment for the mother.

But few PMTCT programmes, already stretched to address the prevention needs of the unborn, are able to deal with the treatment needs of the mothers. As recounted by the former United Nations Special Envoy for HIV and AIDS, Stephen Lewis, after meeting three Rwandan women who had taken nevirapine to protect their babies form HIV transmission, "They asked a poignant question that haunts me to this day. They said, 'We'll do anything to save our babies, but what about us?" What about them indeed. We must guarantee access to life-prolonging treatment by raising our voices higher to lobby governments and international organisations to increase funding for ART programmes and for priority to be given to mothers.

From the womb right through to adulthood, mothers make it a point to guard the lives of their offspring. They make it their business to counter stigma and discrimination by refusing to create barriers between themselves and their children - sharing the same utensils and facilities as their sick sons and daughters without a second thought. These actions affirm a truth that love and compassion defeat negative thoughts and attitudes and help overcome HIV. How many AIDS patients have risen from their 'deathbeds', because a mother cared enough to fight the disease with them?

Mothers' Day is a day that has been commemorated for centuries - a day that gives us the opportunity to reflect on the vital role that mothers play in our lives. This year, let us remember to appreciate them not only for what they have done for us, but also for what we can do for them.

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