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HIV-positive Zimbabweans find love
Steve Vickers, BBC News
July 26, 2006

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/5216864.stm

A dating service for HIV-positive people in Zimbabwe has made a successful start with its first couples having been matched up.

The agency, called Hapana, was launched two months ago and is challenging attitudes that society holds towards those living with the virus.

About one in five Zimbabweans is infected, the United Nations says. One of the highest rates in the world.
One common perception is that single people who are HIV positive should no longer be involved in sexual relationships.

"There's an unspoken expectation that if you're single and you test positive, you're supposed to become celibate," the founder of the agency, Luta Shaba, told the BBC News website.

"I believe it's contributing to continued infection, because if you know that disclosing your status will cause the other person to leave you, the chances are that you won't disclose.

"A lot of people have shown interest in what I'm doing and my clients have made it very clear that they are happy that someone has started this service."

Highly publicised campaigns have been running over the past five years to encourage people to undertake HIV tests, in order to control the spread of the virus.

But there have been some unanswered questions as to how those who test positive should continue their lives.

"It's almost like an us and them, there's an assumption that you're negative, so go and get tested so that you can keep yourself safe from those positive people," said Shaba.

"I challenged the last date that I had who left me when I disclosed my status.

"I asked him whether he would have been comfortable having sexual relations with me using a condom, had I not disclosed.

"He said yes, he would have, so I asked him what the difference is in using a condom to prevent HIV transmission when you know the person's status."

Besides the use of anti-retroviral drugs, a positive mental outlook and enjoyment of life is an important factor in extending the lifespan of a person who has the virus.

Shaba believes that loneliness and isolation makes it more difficult for people to live healthily with HIV.

"There's a perception that HIV-positive people are lethal, so there's a fear of being intimate with them," said Shaba
"I can be on ARVs and be part of a support group, but you really have to deal with the reality of HIV and Aids at midnight on Valentine's Day.

"That's when I've seen everybody receiving flowers and I know I can't receive flowers because I'm HIV-positive because nobody wants to be with me.

"So I'm saying we don't have to be alone, let's be honest with each other that we need to be in relationships, and let's give each other companionship.

"But it doesn't mean that people who are dating when positive should be careless."

Unprotected sex can lead to the re-infection of someone who is HIV-positive, which could quicken the onset of fully-blown Aids.

Dating agencies have not proved to be popular in Zimbabwe, but Shaba believes that they can work well for those with HIV.

"I think that dating services will be useful for HIV-positive people," she said.

"You can be introduced to dozens of people who all find you absolutely attractive, but it's that one factor that stops everything in its tracks."

The dating service takes its name from a popular song by Tanga Wekwa Sando, Hapana Asina Wake, meaning there is no-one without that special someone in their life.

"It's very pertinent, the risk of giving up and telling yourself that no-one will ever love me is real.

"So we need to say we are beautiful people, we are alive, and each living being is entitled to a mate and nobody should be sentenced to a lifetime of total solitude.

"Considering the way people are so conservative here and the social issues around HIV I am enthused at the start that the agency has made.

"If I can pair up just 10 people a month and they spend time together at the weekend or go for coffee, then I'd be the happiest woman around."

Shaba has also written a book, Secrets of a Woman's Soul, which tells of her relationship with her mother, who died of an Aids-related disease.

She hopes to send girls orphaned by Aids to university with funds raised from the book.

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