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Laughing
Zimbabweans don't cry
IOL
January 14, 2008
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?from=rss_Africa&set_id=1&click_id=68&art_id=nw20080114172654134C901108
If you hear a Zimbabwean
housewife boast that she's off to buy the head of a cow, don't think
she's found a secret supply of meat. She plans to buy a cabbage.
And if she says she's
cooking pig's head for supper over an outdoor fire, of course, because
there won't be any power, she's also talking about cabbage.
Meat has been in desperately
short supply in Zimbabwe since July, when President Robert Mugabe's
controversial 50 per cent price slash emptied shop shelves and butchers
within days.
And although the precious
commodity is slowly creeping back into stores, it is doing at prices
way beyond the purses of most.
Inflation, now rumoured
to be well over 24 000 per cent and climbing, is wreaking havoc
on the lives of all but the very rich.
A chicken this week cost
at least 24 million Zimbabwe dollars, more than a teacher's monthly
salary. A packet of sausages cost 30 million. That is $1 000 at
the official exchange rate. No wonder cabbage is the country's new
meat.
In these tough days Zimbaweans
have found their own unique brand of humour. No surprises: it's
heavily laced with sarcasm.
As power cuts bite -
Zimbabwe is reported to have had electricity imports from South
Africa and the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) cut - witty Zimbabweans
have found a substitute meaning for ZESA, the state-run Zimbabwe
Electricity Supply Authority. It is the Zimbabwe Electricity Sometimes
Available company, according to letter-writers to the independent
press.
The state-run Zimbabwe
National Water Authority (ZINWA) has also been renamed: it's the
Zimbabwe No Water Available authority - a particularly apt name
for the water body this week. Monday marked the start of what a
ZINWA official warned would be a week-long water cut for Harare
and parts of the capital's sprawling dormitory town of Chitungwiza.
Examples abound: a columnist
for the weekly Standard has coined a new name for the government
mouthpiece, the Herald. Tongue-in-cheek, he calls the newspaper
the Herald of Total Honesty.
And the pothole-riddled
capital city with its frequent sewage pipe bursts and its diarrhoea
outbreaks is Ha-Ha-rare. Things in the place once called the Sunshine
City just aren't that funny any more.
With bank queues still
snaking their way outside most banks as desperate customers wait
for cash and with crunch polls Mugabe's party has said its sure
of winning now only two months away, there's little hope of a let-up
in the situation.
For many Zimbabweans,
there's a lot of truth in the popular saying: if you don't laugh,
you'll cry. - Sapa-DPA
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