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with Ian Von Memerty, Performer, A Handful of Keys, HIFA 2012, versatile
captain entertainment, the superhero with bad underpants
May 03, 2012
yourself in five words?
mercurial, passionate, paradoxical, committed.
the best piece of advice you've ever received?
long-term view is this too shall pass.
people's opinion of me is none of my concern.
the most ridiculous thing you've ever done?
have no shame so I cannot answer this question . . . I did swear
on National Television by mistake. I called myself a fuckwit. Later
it came through on SMS - "Some woman just said fuckwit."
is your most treasured possession?
do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
the fact that humankind can be so magical and so monstrously inhuman,
at the same time.
four months a go I would have said losing a child, but actually
there is nothing compared to the whirlwind of a mental illness.
you have any strange hobbies?
live on a little farm. I wear gumboots. My favourite thing is driving
the mower - a quad bike with a purpose. My son said, "Dad,
you look like a three year old on a tricycle."
do you dislike most about your appearance?
I wish I could just get my weight down by 6kgs. When I was 23 I
had it together: I was a pretty boy. I had a little butt; they would
review my arse before the piano playing - it was that good.
is your greatest extravagance?
have you got in your fridge?
and I, we hate those fucking crowded fridges. There's always
Greek yoghurt, cheese, white wine, salad stuff, and hopefully she
will not have thrown away the leftovers before I've had a
chance to eat them.
is your greatest fear?
I've lived through my greatest fear - losing my child.
fear: Having to go to jail and they can't get medication to
have you got in your pockets right now?
dollars and a room card key - I've lost the other four. Not
wanting to offend but the Zimbabwean US Dollars are the dirtiest
in the world. One was so dirty it was pleading to be released from
this earth and flung into the flames of middle earth.
is your favourite journey?
weeks as a family in London, Paris, Tuscany, Rome and Greece.
are your heroes in real life?
son. And every unsung parent who does the job really well. Because
if the world was made up of that, everything would come right.
and where were you happiest?
my family. And . . . I am most stimulated when I am performing
but it must be live.
your biggest vice?
and porn. But never together. (See earlier, I have no shame)
were you like at school?
clever and really frightened.
are you doing next?
Monday I fly to Cape Town to direct and MC a road show for a large
car company. On Thursday my first original CD with a Big Band goes
into the shops. It's called U R Fantastic. And then presenting
on Strictly Come Dancing and judging on SAs Got Talent. And taking
a Handful of Keys overseas.
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