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Inside/Out with Viomak, singer, song writer, and passionate performer
September 03, 2008

Describe yourself in five words
Determined, no nonsense, patient, kind-hearted, sociable

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
I have only received the worst piece of advice

What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever done?
I was a young geography teacher at Eveline High school. I was invigilating a geography class and I sneaked out of the class when students were in the middle of writing their final O level exam. I had to go and get a pen in the staff room. From nowhere the deputy head, a Mr Shoko passed by the classroom to check on me. Within 3 minutes I was back and he asked me where I had gone and yet I was aware that students sitting exams should not be left unattended. Sensing danger I lied that I had gone to the loo to change my soaked tampon. He was tongue tied and he left. Talking of taboo. I hope he won't read this wherever he is

What is your most treasured possession?
My brain and my voice

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Unwanted pregnancy

Do you have any strange hobbies?
Licking my husband's face whenever I get the slightest opportunity. Whistling in the house. Dancing naked in the bathroom and in the bedroom

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My height, lips, eyes and nose

What is your greatest extravagance?

What have you got in your fridge?
Rape vegetables, mango juice, cheese, chicken wings, bread, ice cream, and fish

What is your greatest fear?

What have you got in your pockets right now?
No pockets

What is your favourite journey?
Travelling to Zimbabwe

Who are your heroes in real life?
Jesus, my parents, my husband, Morgan Tsvangirai, Pius Ncube, Jairosi Jiri, Betty Makoni, Ian Smith

When and where were you happiest?
When Mugabe died in my dream

What's your biggest vice?
Spitting saliva after eating plain foods like bread, buns, scones

What were you like at school?
Very quiet and responsible but somehow playful. Very disciplined and friendly. Other students called me tete (auntie) and approached me for advice. I was also very neat and attractive

What are you doing next?
Going upstairs. I'm on punishment since April 2008. My husband said I haven't been performing very well so I have to give him a dosage every afternoon. If I complain he says I have to respect conjugal rights. I wish I was one of those unreasonable feminists. I would tell him it's my right to refuse. I hope he won't read this

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