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Inside/Out with John Eppel, Zimbabwean writer
Kubatana.net
February 05, 2007

Describe yourself in five words?
Ageing white male school teacher.

What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?
Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.

What's the most ridiculous thing you've ever done?
Too embarrassing to divulge, but fairly ridiculous was wearing a tea cosy (knitted by my granny) as a balaclava on my first trip overseas.

What is your most treasured possession?
I treasure my children but they aren't possessions, so I guess it will have to be my late father's tot measure.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being dumped by the woman you love.

Do you have any strange hobbies?
Living in Zimbabwe.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
My face.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Butter.

What have you got in your fridge?
Butter, last night's leftovers, the day before's leftovers, last week's leftovers.

What is your greatest fear?
That I'll outlive one of my children.

What have you got in your pockets right now?
Nothing.

What is your favourite journey?
Sleep.

Who are your heroes in real life?
There are none.

When and where were you happiest?
In my forties, in Bulawayo.

What's your biggest vice?
Desiring 'obscure objects'.

What were you like at school?
Apathetic, mostly. The only 'A' I ever achieved was my blood group: A-Positive

What are you doing next?
Have a shower, while there's still some water left in Bulawayo.

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